Worst Movies of 2012

**WARNING-IN THE INTEREST OF FAIRNESS I HAVE ONLY INCLUDED THE MOVIES I'VE ACTUALLY SEEN.  AS A RESULT, I HAVE EXCLUDED MOVIES THAT ARE LIKELY FAR MORE DESERVING CANDIDATES SUCH AS TWILIGHT OR BATTLESHIP.  PLEASE DON'T MISTAKE THEIR ABSENCE FROM THIS LIST AS AN ENDORSEMENT.

 

10.  Hope Springs- A talented cast is wasted on this dull script filled with moments so uncomfortable I was thankful for the invention of the fast forward button. While Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones are okay, Steve Carrell is miscast as the couple’s straight man therapist and consequently his comedic gifts are squandered.

9.    Prometheus-They inserted two hours’ worth of buildup but didn’t bother to give the audience any kind of payoff and instead opted for blatant sequel bait.There are so many questions that go unanswered I felt like I was watching some special futuristic episode of Lost.It turns out the screenwriter for Prometheus also happened to be a writer for Lost so I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. While this isn’t the worst movie I’ve seen all year it’s definitely the most disappointing.  

 

8.    Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter- Clearly this was never meant to be Citizen Kane.You might think that a movie with a title that ridiculous would at least make it fun to watch and not take itself so seriously.  Sadly, they couldn’t even get that part right.

 

7.    Haywire- Director Steven Soderburgh is so focused on making Haywire gritty and somewhat realistic that he seemed to forget to make it interesting.Gina Cerano is undoubtedly an excellent fighter, but apart from a rather awesome action scene with Michael Fassbender, this movie is a complete waste of her talents.

 

6.    Lockout- Guy Pearce gives this turkey everything he has but no actor could’ve saved a film with a script this inhumanely stupid.To make matters worse the special effects are so unbelievably fake, the whole production looks like a mildly ambitious SyFy original movie.  Who would’ve thought that a plot involving a spy infiltrating a space prison could so boring and unwatchable?

 

5.      Premium Rush- The protagonist is kind of a douche, the villain is hilariously incompetent and the editing is terrible. As for the other characters they’re not even worth mentioning.  It's mentioned more than once that bike messengers are among the most hated people in New York City.   From the little I saw of them here that hatred is well justified.            

 

4.     Lawless- It’s hard to say anything bad about Lawless. Not because it was good or anything but because it’s so unbearably dull that for the most part nothing actually happens. Hey, that was easier than I thought.

 

3.     This Means War- I would’ve been willing to overlook how many laws are broken during this movie if there were anything resembling comedy, likeable characters, or even a decent action scene. Obviously that was too much to ask from the guy who directed Terminator: Salvation.

 

2.     Rocks of Ages- The characters are painfully one-dimensional, the musical numbers are dull, the choreography is awful and the movie as a whole was a complete waste of time. I don’t think I’ve ever been more ashamed to be born in the 80s.

1.    Dark Shadows- It wasn’t easy picking the ten movies I hated most this year but putting this dud at the top of the list was a no-brainer.  The scenery is good enough but everything else is a complete embarrassment.  Watching this was the longest and biggest waste of two hours I’ve experienced all year.